Saturday, April 23, 2011


There are certain conversations that you don't want to have.

Plain and simple, that's how it is. Many of them are uncomfortable, some could be catastrophic, and often times you put off having these conversations out of fear. Fear of what? Change.

I will be the first to admit that I have a fear of change. Most times I am very complacent to sit and watch things pass by, knowing I should say something but being afraid of what might happen if I do. Things aren't necessarily where I want them to be, but I will sit by in silence out of fear that my words could cause things to take a turn for the worse, and then where would I be?

This must change.

There are so many things I need to say to so many people right now.
And so many different words.

It wasn't right.
What do you need from me?
Can we start over?
I love that we can do this.
What do you think of me?
This should be you.
Please stop.
I miss you.
You aren't what I want.
Do you love me?
I think I am falling for you.

Sadly, I cannot bring myself to say any of these things to any of the people that need to hear them.
And I don't understand what it is that is holding me back.

Except for my fear.

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